maymer's journal

in the name of, but not limited to: love, life, fashion, adventure… and food.

#22 the dogs

‘you have talked so often of going to the dogs- and well, here are the dogs, and you have reached them, and you can stand it. It takes off a lot of anxiety’ G.O.

i went away because i felt i needed to live a bit more deliberately than i had been.

although that seems reasonable the closest i got to deliberately was the very deliberate deliberating sessions, that often wouldnt even let me get out of bed until the early hours of the afternoon, and although that may just seem lazy, i should point out that my efforts to put to rout all that was not fascinating only ever occurred in my head or in my dreams, so it made very little sense to leave either of them, you see?

some may suggest that living in my head for the entirety of the summer is not only selfish but perhaps a tiny bit conceited, but it’s not like that at all, the way i see it, there’s not really any need to try and enrich the world, it would almost be greedy seeing how interesting it already is, or at least you could allow me to pretend that’s the reason rather than have me admit that i have absolutely nothing to contribute. remember, there’s no point in playing cards when you do not posses the winning hand, i’m merely a pair of twos among the face cards.

it’s getting to that point of the year where the trees lend their leaves, i like to see it as if they’re leaving messages, or even a souvenir, they’re fundamentally beautiful, the illustration of what once was rich but now is poor, i find it incredibly comforting, the weather is such that the season is letting out a soft sigh and saying ‘what’s another day?’ and i could get very used to hearing it. it’s bonechilling.

the end of the season brings a new beginning, they usually tend too, and as the clear skies slowly turn the gray the rain they brings washes away my insecurities, washes away the tears on my cheeks, i am born again and on the footsteps on a new world, far from home and all that’s familiar but an experience that promises to be educational and instrumental in understanding both how the world works and how one day i might fit into it. one can’t help be feel excited at the change, even through the sadness of leaving. as you may have been able to deduce, i am completely charmed by the idea of going away to university, but completely petrified of the notion that i may be getting older and soon will have to shoulder some responsibility in my own care and the full responsibility of the person i become because of it.

it’s almost a trap.

#21 salsa

hi, it’s mayme here,

so, a couple of days ago wimbledon ended, which is not awesome for me because, i love watching tennis, i get strangely into it, then will probably fall asleep for a bit of the second set and then wake up and get just as into it as i was before i fell asleep, which is not only wonderfully weird but also hella fun, plus you get to sit on the sofa all lazy and stuff and no one says anything!

anyway, i’m not really fretting now that winbledon’s over, for the ashes have come to town, unfortunately, they sound cooler than they actually are, so, the sleep to watch ratio leans strongly in the ‘sleep’ direction. I’m learning about cricket, anyway, did you know they were six balls to an over?

no?

well, you do now.

whatever, baby, you can drive my car

                                       

beep beep, beep beep, CH-YEAH!

this is also the song in the new boss orange fragrance advert with sienna miller, here’s some screenshots if you’ve no clue what i’m talking about

<a href="http://maymers.files.wordpress.com/2009/07/siennamilleradvertforhugoboss48×6.jpg" title="yeah, i stole these from everyceleb.com, but, i didnt cut out the credit

i should really do a photoshoot in this style, maybe later today, until then, here’s a recipe, to keep us sweet 

pineapple salsa

stuff you’ll need:

400g of pineapple, chopped

1 red chilli, chopped

healthy handful of mint, chopped

 

what you should do:

 

  1. griddle the pineapple
  2. chop the chilli and stir it into the griddled pineapple
  3. chop the mint and sprinkle on top, then stir

yield: 4 servings

great on it’s own, with yoghurt, or even with burgers

also, surprisingly healthy, nutritional facts:

51 cals per serving

12.7 g carbs

12.7 g sugar

0.2 g fat

trace sat fat

trace salt

 

enjoy, guiltlessly!

 

(:

 

.m

#20 comfort

comfort food: certain foods that people associate with their formative years, or with "home"; frequently simple home-cooked style food, and often the staple of diners and other informal restaurants; Food that one eats to feel comfort or alleviate stress rather than to receive nutrition

as dictated by wiktionary and i find myself pretty much agreeing.

i must admit rarely comfort eat, let alone in the summer, cause, well, let’s just say the british isles aren’t famous for their light summery dishes now, are they? but i do believe in the power of simple homely foods and how somehow they do tend to provides a sense of wellbeing, and that’s what i intended when i thought about making, this sort of smoked salmon cutlet, that is surprisingly light with a mint yoghurt which is slightly reminiscent of a riatha, yeah, that’s my attempt at mixing my already jumbled background(s)

smoked salmon, leek and potato cake with mint yoghurt

 

smoked salmon, leek and potato cake:

2 tbsp olive oil

1/2 a medium sized onion, chopped

1/4 tsp crush garlic

1/4 tsp crushed ginger

1 leek, chopped

1/4 cup cream cheese

1/2 cup diced smoked salmon

2 cups mash potatoes

1 egg, beaten

 

  • in a frying pan, let the olive oil heat, toss in the onions, sweat them
  • add in the garlic and ginger
  • add the chopped leek
  • add the 1/4 cup of cream cheese, i used Philadelphia, but really, any is fine, i was going to use laughing cow cheese triangles until i found the philly
  • add the smoked salmon
  • put the mash potatoes in a mixing bowl, fold the salmon and leek mix into the mash
  • roll into small balls
  • apply pressure to centre of the balls to make little cake like shapes
  • dip this into the beaten egg and pan fry until golden brown on both sides

 

yield: 12-18 mini cakes

mint yoghurt:

handful of mint leaves

100 g plain yoghurt

tbsp of sugar (optional)

 

  • finely chop the mint leaves and mix 3/4 of it into the yoghurt
  • mix in the sugar
  • use the other 1/4 of mint to garnish
  • tuck in

(also great with stale pita bread the next day (; )

 

.m

#19 sundae

hey, mayme here

a tale we shall call ‘much ado about nothing, in a nutshell’

so, you know when you want to do something or go somewhere, and you get quite excited about it and think about it in loads of detail, sort of just sitting down on the train and imagining what it would be like to be in that place. you’ll think about the atmosphere, the people you’d like to take with you and, of course,

the different sorts of fun and mischief you’d get up to, and then, i don’t know about you, but for me, it’ll take a mad leap into a swamp of craziness i mean, i can get pretty obsessive about it, which is good, cause then i’ll get really hyped about whatever it is, so that’s great! but then it can also be bad because i tend to build it up and hold it in really high esteem, i mean, everest heights! the sort of standards that couldn’t possibly be obtained by any event (apart from going and seeing star trek, which went above and beyond all expectations!) and then you go and it ends up being less impressive than you initially thought, or, it comes to the day, or few weeks leading up to the day, and it turns out that you can’t actually go.

welcome to disappointment, population: me

i really, and i do mean really, wanted to go to the ben and jerry’s sundae on the common, as on the sunday one of my favourite bands of the moment are playing (Camera Obscura, that’s a link, so, you can go on and take a peek at some of their music if you’d like) so, i obviously got really excited, my heart hissing, crackling, possibly sizziling if i could be so bold!just like the first sweet sip of an ice cold soda pop, exhilaratingly refreshing and full of promise, this lasted the whole way home fueled by a Camera Obscura themed playlist which could potentially give you wings, an effect similar to that promised by certain energy drinks, but with less caffeine and a more satisfying high. so, naturally, when i finally arrived home, needless to say the journey was effectively the longest hour of my life, i pretty much ran upstairs and logged onto the prescribed website only to be informed that the show is sold out

and there it is… one of the most dreadful feelings known to man. If a train was travelling from New York going 100 mph and another from Los Angeles going 200 mph on the same track heading for each other, the train track is 3000 miles along, and i’m strapped to the track in the middle of Kansas how long do you reckon it will be before i find dorothy, the wizard, paint the yellow brick road a sensible colour and get deported by the ‘powers that be’ for suggesting that we should ‘do away with expenses altogether and just give the MPs an actual wage’?

i can’t even begin to tell you how devastated i was, i had become the kid with ice cream on my forehead and in the sand but whose mouth was missing the desperately desired creamy sweetness of a delectable flake 99.

and to conclude, i was so upset that i decided in the spirit of sundaes… i should make cupcakes

(they ended up severely deformed thanks to lack of muffin tin)
(if you’re reading this mr. benandjerry, please send me a ticket, i’ll be everlastingly faithful!)

):<

no, i haven’t actually read much ado about nothing, i’m not surprised if this piece of text is a complete an utter disappointment, at least i’m being honest

.m

#18 hey, presto!

hey, it’s mayme, again

housekeeping

after what seems like a million years i am finally back in the only chair and at the only keyboard where i allow my fingertips to frolic free like the stars twinkling across the night sky, or rather like the stars would twinkle across the night sky if i lived in a star friendly region of the globe, but hopefully much like the beautiful midnight sky, i impart to you the irregular tapping these very fingertips against this very keyboard to evoke feelings equally as magical as those produced by the late night scenery of a small Mediterranean village.

i apologise greatly, and will continue to time and time again, for this involuntary hiatus and am hoping to make it up to you with infectiously flowery and poetic language, should you choose to carry on reading. i only left you, dear reader, in the fruitless pursuit of an education and as the last of my exams was this afternoon, i think it’s safe to say that my lust for academic approval has been satisfied. well, at least for the next three months. yes, i am overwhelmed with relief, it’s like a hippo has replaced the mountain that was sitting on my chest and now my life is unsurprisingly average once again.

cheaters’ chocolate croissant

adapted from nigella lawson

all the taste and the impressive look of a chocolate croissant with a fraction of the work, perfect for a lazy sunday morning where you’d like to feel slightly more special than i’m sure you all are.

what you’ll need:

1 packet of ready rolled butter puff pastry

1 large chocolate bar (to taste, i used a milk chocolate one with hazelnuts and raisins, but, whatever you like)

1 egg, beaten

 

what you’ll have to do:

  1. preheat the oven to about 180 degrees C
  2. roll the pastry out and proceed to cut into six squares
  3. then, cut these six squares into twelve triangles by slashing them diagonally, they look small, but it’ll be fine
  4. take one of the triangles and make sure the mouth, that’s not the point, of it is facing you
  5. break off a piece of the chocolate and place it a couple of centimetres above the centre of the mouth of the triangle, roll this toward the point of the triangle
  6. apply pressure to the sides as you curl them inwards into a crab like shape, pinching the ends together so that you don’t get any ‘seepage’ for lack of a better word
  7. place on a lined baking tray and egg wash them with a pastry brush, bake for 15 – 20 minutes until golden and puffy

 

and hey, presto!

gorgeous mini chocolate croissants perfect for sharing, or not, as the case may turn out to be.

 

(;

 

 

 

oh, did i forget to mention? i’m like a foodie now

.m

#17 lapis elephants

hey, it’s mayme.

i would try to say ‘heymers’ again, but i got so much ‘I INVENTED THAT,I CANT BELIEVE YOU STOLE IT AND DIDNT GIVE ME CREDIT!!!!111!!!one!!’ from people that i’m too afraid to even go there.

MainFeature

This is a Lapis Elephant:

 

isn’t it wonderful? i lack the appropriate adjectives to describe how much i like this.

i’ve always felt attached to elephants, maybe it’s because of how they care for their young

or perhaps, it’s because i used to be one.

whatever it is, it leaves me awestruck

(:

enjoy

HouseKeeping

we’re amidst the awfulest of awful in terms of months, May and June

thou dost protest?
ah, yes, according to the weather it does beats out October or January
but in term of activities, it’s just dreadful.
what?
no, yes, i do live near a park
and okay, yes, i know they are various outdoor activities 
i know, i know too well, i’ve been to a fair few whilst i should have at least been pretending to revise

ah, and there it is, the golden ticket in word form.

Revise

May and June host the teenage world’s prime enemy

no, not authority
or angst
or their lack of place, for want of a better word, in society

what May and June bring with them is far worse, for they are the months of the public examinations, whether it’s GCSEs or A Levels teens nationwide will be cursing the good weather, or lack thereof, for the bad fortunes it seems to have brought with it, and i’m not above this.

suddenly you seem awfully forgiving about my absence
yes, a cup of tea would be lovely.
custard crèmes? oh, go on then.

this tends  to bring out a mood amongst most of us, those who are being examined, i mean, that could be described as très normal, très banal au total pas phénoménal. which is more or less exactly how i’ve been. thank you for asking.

(:

ça pourrait changer ?

oh, but it will, in one short month, by the time it comes to the 16th of June, i will be free of the trials and tribulations put forward by the examination officers and i’ll be free for the next three or four months.

or we may be free for even longer depending on the outcome of the much these dreaded quizzical interrogations

(;

oh, that wasn’t funny, i don’t feel good about that

i think some cheering up is in order, please accept this excerpt from the twitter account of Stephen Fry

if you have a twitter account, i warn you, you may feel your twitter accounts are obscenely inadequate in comparison to his, they probably are.

“The name of ex-French Open winner Sue Barker sounds very like Chewbacca – never seen them in the same room. Suspicious”

oh, you’re having chicken for dinner again? what a delightfully punny and interesting quip.

isn’t it funny how the time i actually quote something, i don’t use the grayed out area designated for quoting things?no, you’re right, its not at all funny

my heart’s beating rhythm and my soul keeps on singing the blues

keep it swinging

.m

x

#16 five

heymers!

yeah, that was me shortening hey its maymers, because this is supposed to be a quick one as i’m meant to be working

housekeeping

warning: loud heading

i’m supposed to be working

i’m supposed to be working

i’m supposed to be working

procrastination always wins.

how are you?

main feature

five things i don’t really like and feel like complaining about, just cause i’m in a whineyface mood

by mayme

1. deadlines

not just because i have one coming up, okay, maybe because i have one coming up, but they aren’t important until they’re two days away anyway

2. personality tests

i know most of us think that the meaning of life is self-development in the sense of understanding one’s nature perfectly, but, really? they aren’t going to tell you more about you than you already know.

3. calculators that aren’t natural display

yeah, i’m that lazy

4. when people  try to ‘introduce’ me to bands like La Roux

c’mon y’guys, we all know music like that is just ‘too cool’ for me

5.  the lyrics ‘when you think Tim McGraw, I hope you think of me’

i do like Taylor Swift, but that just sounds dumb

in conclusion…

i don’t want to do my history coursework.
let’s go out and play!

mayme x

#15 alphabet

hi, it’s mayme

sorry it’s taken me so long, things have been a bit crazy but i won’t bore you with the details

and sorry for the long load on this one, i think it’s worth it though

housekeeping

6 down, shameful (13)

discreditable

yes, i’m proud of myself

yes, i crossword

I originally called this post ‘calico’ cause i meant to post it in fashion week and that’s what i came up with. Oopsmuch?.. at least i was thinking of you?

main feature

disclaimer: some of this gets pretty explicit, consider yourself warned.

the alphabet of some of the coolest slang and internet acronyms ever

A is for asdf

asdf:
1. Usually a mannerism for displaying frustration (e.g. what the heck)
2. four letters on the home row struck by the left pinky, ring,middle, index finger (respectively)

B is for Brian Boitano

C is for Cooties

Cooties:
Diseases that the opposite sex has that gives you a reason to not be around them. When you get older, cooties becomes known as “STDs.”

D is for DJM

E is for Epic Fail

epic fail:
A mistake of such monumental proportions that it requires its own term in order to sucessfully point out the unfathomable shortcomings of an individual or group.

F is for FTW

FTW:
Commonly used among geeks to express their enthusiasm for something, especially in IRC.

G is for GTFO

GTFO:
An acronym for Get The Fuck Out.
1. Can be an expression of excitement for something really extrodinary, including doubt of its existence.
2. Used to tell noobs off or shut them up.
3. An expression for physically leaving a place with no disclosure to members of the place.

H is for Holla

Holla:
1. A way for a ‘brotha’ to say he wants to get in your pants
2. A pimp ass way of saying ‘what up’
3. May be used to end a conversation

I is for i’m just sayin’

i’m just sayin’:
A phrase that is used when someone is offended by something you said. This phrase then removes all the offensiveness of the previous statement, making it all good.

J is for Jazz

Jazz:
‘If you gotta ask, you’ll never know.’ – Louis Armstrong

K is for Kenya

L is for L337

L337:
politeness is being able to speak l337 speak but having the sense and intelligence to talk like a normal person

M is for Maddox

Maddox:
Owner and writer of “The Best Page In The Universe”. Real name George Ouzounian, Writes highly controversial, unconventional, and impractical work that is occasionally hilarious. Has many people that view his work daily ‘Friends Of Maddox’ and many protestors ‘mothers against maddox.’

N is for Norris, Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris:
Chuck Norris is the mightiest man alive. He could kill your family and eat your soul. His roundhouse kicks have been known to destroy worlds.
when God said, “let there be light.” Chuck Norris said,”say please.”

O is for Orly?

Orly?:
A phrase coined on the internet; mainly used to indicate sarcasm or acknowledgement of obviousness. It’s also used as a verbal equivalent to the body language of the ‘raised eyebrow’.

P is for Pwn

Pwn:
Perfect ownage. Flawless victory. Schooled. Lesson taught. Owned beyond conventional words, and so excited about it, that you misspelled ‘own’. Usually proceeds ‘noob’.

Q is for Quail-Man

Quail-Man:
Any person who solves problems through non-violent means, usually by making a rowdy person feel “helpless and stupified.”
Originated from the Nick TV show Doug, in which Quail-Man fought evil with patience, intelligence, speed, and the “Quail-Eye.”

R is for ROFL

ROFL:
ROFL is an internet acronym for Rolling On Floor Laughing, and like all things internet it has adapted to nerd culture and has taken on new real-life use, though usually in a satirical way.
ROFL can be merged with other acronyms to created super l33t acronyms that “r0×0r y0ur b0×0rs” per se. Some examples of the merged acronyms are as follows:
ROFLAARP: Rolling On Floor Looking At Assorted Rodent Pornography
or
ROFLEW: Rolling On Floor Laughing whilst Eating Waffles

S is for Social Plagiarism

Social Plagiarism:
When one uses a story/saying/information/anecdote that they received or overheard from another individual they know and they do not cite the source. In turn, implying that they themselves are the original source of information.

i’m gonna take this opportunity to point out, that i got a lot of help from urbandictionary.com and youtube when compiling this one, y’know, if you didnt already figure, no, i wasn’t just suggesting you’re slow.

T is for Textrovert

Textrovert:
Someone who is brave and bold in texts, emails and instant messages, but meek and mild in person

U is for Uggs

Uggs:
Boots with suede outsides and sheepskin insides. Usually used in snowy and cold regions, but now is associated with miniskirts and beach towns.

V is for Voluntold

Voluntold:
Forciby volunteered. A task that was once voluntary has now been ordered to you, usually by a parent or a employer.

W is for Word

Word:
A versatile declaration, possibly originating in hip-hop culture.
“Word” has no single meaning, but is used to convey a casual sense of affirmation, acknowledgement, agreement, or to indicate that something has impressed you favorably.
Its usage amongst it’s youthful demographic has been parodied among clueless suburban whites.

X is for Xylophone

Xylophone:
1. the only word anyone can ever think of on the spot when asked ‘what word begin with x?’
2. the area of the sternum and ribs that is clearly visible when a woman, usually a Hollywood celebrity loses too much weight.

Y is for YouTube

Z is for Zerbert

Zerbert:
“creating a seal between a human mouth and flesh (commonly the stomach or arm) and then blowing, producing a fart-like sound.” –Bungalow Bill

no, i didn’t make it up.

enjoy you guys, hope i’ll be back soon.
take it easy!

.m

x

#14 whale song

ahoy-hoy, it’s mayme

i don’t think ‘ahoy-hoy’ will catch on. try and use it today, i wonder what will happen

i think i may just skip to the

main feature

i was listening to various whale songs, they’re really quite pretty. you may think that i just started in the middle of a sentence and that there may have been some brief on whale songs that you missed out on, but no, i really just said that out of the blue. speaking of the blue, i find that they have the prettiest of the whale songs, the blue whale, that is. many believe that the humpback and i won’t deny them that, to each their own.

a ‘whale song’ is the sound made by whale when it communicates, i should have probably written that first. i wonder if they know how beautiful they sound.

housekeeping

another sunny cloudless day in london

yes, i read what i typed, i’m just as shocked

the lazy sun hugs the city, you can feel the trees rumba and sway in the breeze, and i’m afraid i bend with them they seem to have a way with me.

the piano starts to play and all of a sudden we’re away, dancing  around in my head, like the sunshine reflecting off the river, all five of us and even with the other seasons on the floor, m’dear, i see only you and would be more than content to relax in the air that you’d recently relaxed in.

but, what troubles me is that whilst having this I may grow proud and the consciousness of the season has been known to turn awfully meek at times but my intention is not to frighten, i merely dare to state, my love, that in the spring i go weak!

that might have been poetic, i didn’t read it over, i’m just thankful for the pleasant turn in the weather.

peace and love

x

#13 pi

hey, mayme here

this one goes out to the mathematical community of the entire world

today is pi day.image

you may find yourself asking:

what’s pi day?

pi day, is as you may have guessed, not about the tasty dessert, but infact the mathematical constant that is known as pi often characterized by the symbol on the right.

it’s basically a holiday held in celebration of the mathematical constant.

why is it on the 14th of march?

if the fourteenth of the third is written in numbers with the month preceeding the day, it reads: 3.14, which is the mathematical approximation of pi to two decimal places.

you can take this even further and go for pi minute, or even pi second! if yopu truncate pi to seven decimal places, it becomes 3.1415926, making March 14 at 1:59:26 p.m making this pi second!

and if you’re not all pi’d out there’s also…

pi approximation day(s)!

these fall of several days across the year that somehow make an approximation of the mathematical contsant we love so much:

  • April 26: The Earth has travelled two radians of its orbit by this day (April 25th in leap years); ergo, the entire orbit divided by the distance travelled equals pi, which is pretty nifty.
  • July 22: 22/7 (a day before my birthday!) in the more common day/month date format, an ancient approximation of pi
  • November 10: The 314th day of the year (November 9 in leap years)
  • December 21, 1:13 p.m.: The 355th day of the year (December 20 in leap years), celebrated at 1:13 for the Chinese approximation 355/113

madness!

trivia

  • Albert Einstein was born on Pi Day, 1879. true story. coinkydink, much?

I apologise profusely for missing Square Root Day on the 3rd of march 2009, I’ll try and catch the next one on 4th of April 2016. i hope i remember.

<3.1415926 to you all.

x

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